To Be or Not to Be: Children at the reception

Recently a young parent asked me:

“Is it becoming more common to have adult-only wedding receptions? My wife and I have a toddler, we live far from both our families, so we don’t have easy access to childcare under any circumstances. We’ve just been invited to our second wedding in which we’ve been told no children. This makes it very difficult, though not impossible for us to attend. Is this a new trend? Is it usually about saving money?

My wife, son and I do virtually everything together at this point in our lives, it seems so strange and almost offensive to be told not to bring him. I know it is the couple’s wedding, not mine, am I out of line to feel bothered by this?”

As a wedding photographer I’ve seen it both ways. Often it depends on the age of the children and whether or not the couple themselves have kids that they would want there (such as nieces and nephews). Usually when kids are welcome it’s because the couple are expecting enough kids that there can be a kids table or area with crayons or other toys, and even better if the kids can play outside like in this photo I grabbed of all the little cousins!

If there’s not going to be a group of kids that can amuse each other, then I think most couples assume YOU, as guests and parents, will have a better time than if you have to watch your kid(s) all night. I’d say don’t take it personally and enjoy the late night out and off from parenting!